Honoring God in Dating Part I

Dating didn't exactly exist in Biblical times, but that doesn't mean that Scripture does not point to a direction for us to honor God in dating.  I have ten biblical teachings that should apply to dating that I will be posting over the next 2-3 weeks.

I would like to start by asking you to consider not dating.  I want to start by asking you to stop.  I want you to consider that single life may be God's calling for your life.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. 9 But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

Is is well with you to remain unmarried.  The unmarried life is a blessed life from God.  This is not to say that marriage is not a blessed life from God, but Paul points to singleness as being particularly rewarding.

We don't teach this well in the church today.  We tend to teach our children and teens that one day they will meet "the one" and that God has prepared a person specifically for them to marry.

Yet Paul asks us to consider singleness.  God tells us that we would be blessed to consider singleness.  The point is that we can serve God more fully and more ably if we are single.

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; 33 but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.  (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

Free from anxieties.

Anxious about the affairs of the Lord.

What does it mean to consider being single?  What would it look like to spend time trying to make that decision?  Let me offer a few thoughts:

1. Be intentionally single for a few months.  Let this be a time of prayer, Christians service, and careful soul searching.

2. Judge honestly your ability to withstand sexual lusts.  Paul makes clear that if you can't handle being single, then don't be single.  Celibacy is a difficult calling, so don't commit to it if you can't do it.

3. Seek completely God's calling on your life.  Is the mission or purpose that God is calling you going to be conducive to marriage or singleness?  Will you be free to do what you are called to do if you are married?

I am a happily married man.  My wife has blessed my spiritual life beyond what my words can express.  However, I would like to stand with Paul in encouraging any of you that are single:  consider making that permanent.

Questing

The best movies are movies that are about discovery.  The ones that send the hero on a quest, typically of insurmountable odds.  The best books are the same.  Questing matters.  Questing reveals us to us, and reveals the reality of the world that we never saw before we left our little corner of it.

I was raised on good stories.  The Hobbit, and the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter all set me out on adventures.  But more than that, I was raised on stories from my Mom and Dad, stories about cowboys, medieval knights, and daring adventures.

The world was a quest, and it was glorious.

-------

It was a paperback, but it was the best Bible that I ever owned.  Terrible translation, fell apart quickly, but immensely important to me.

It was the title that got me.  Truthquest.  A Bible that promises to take you on a quest for truth.  It was what I always wanted and needed.

--------

Somewhere along the way, the questing stopped.  Life was not an adventure, it was more of a fact.  I went from seeking to knowing, or at least assuming I did.  I became the hobbits of the shire, content to live in a little corner of the world and assume that what I know is what is.

And God got thrown in.  It was inevitable I suppose, treating God like a known commodity when you decide that you are educated.  When you decide that you know...So I had no need to seek Him out.  He was no longer an adventure.

-------

That Bible, it was the first one I read front to back.  Within it was the first time I discovered the God who filled David, enlightened Solomon, and encouraged Gideon.  Here was the first time I sought God, really and truly.

When I think of adventure I think of that Bible.

-------

I started reading my Bible straight through in November, feeling it was time to "get my spiritual life together." I am a minister after all, I should be reading that thing more.  I should be doing more praying and doing more studying and being a better Christian.

So I started reading.  It was obligated reading, checking it off my daily list of to-do's.

And then I started to discover adventure again.  As I worked from Genesis into Exodus, and especially into Numbers and Judges, I stopped forcing myself to read, and I started to explore, to seek, to yearn to see what God would do next.

And my life has seemed to become much more mysterious, the world being bigger, the adventure more tangible...life became life again.

God Forgive Us, God Heal Us

I live in Indiana.  I am invested in the Senate race that is unfolding, that derailed earlier this week with comments on abortion and rape.

I have read the articles blasting Mourdock's statement, I have heard the outcry from women who hate that these men want to make decisions about their health for them.  I have heard the political positioning and posturing from left and right in the wake of the media storm.

And I, I find myself wanting nothing more than to rend my clothes and weep aloud.

God, how did we get here?

When did the life of women and unborn children become the fodder for politicians to energize their respective bases?  When did life become nothing more than a pawn in the big game of politics that our country plays?

-------------

I am pro-life.

I am.  In every sense of the word.

I believe that human life begins at conception, and that we have a responsibility to nurture that life regardless of how it got there.  I believe we are called to selflessness, thinking of those who are the least (and what is less than the unborn?) above ourselves.  I realize that as a man I can never understand the huge impact this decision will have on the women who for varies reasons find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy.  I also realize, though, that my decisions are not to be based on my full understanding of the outcome, but my decisions are to be made to reflect the character of God.

I am pro-life in that I believe that human life is sacred regardless of gender, race or ethnicity.  I believe it to be our responsiblity to defend the life of those who are abandoned due to gender in China, cut down like cattle do to their ethnicity in Africa and elsewhere, and to fight against racism everywhere it shows up; overseas or in inner-city gang rivalries.

I am pro-life in that I believe that even when someone disrespects life, I must choose to respect it.  And therefore I stand opposed to retaliation, death penalties, and wars of all kinds.  I believe we protect life and weep when life is extinguished--even if that life has done so much harm.

I am pro-life in that I believe that disabilities do not dehumanize the life of those individuals, and that it is our job to care for the life of the disabled, whether from birth, from accident, or from age.  I believe we must honor the life of our senior citizens and not view their life as lesser because it is older.

Yes, I am pro life...

...and I hate that life has become nothing more than an "issue" to be used in our country's political scheme.

I see the way we pander to constituents and I weep.

I see the way we have changed the term "abortion" to "women's health issues" and I cry.

I see the way that politicians talk flippantly about rape as if its just part of life and I shake with rage.

God, forgive us!

And heal us.

Let us be people who honor the widows and orphans and unborn and born premature and sickly.  Let us act to defend the slave, the beaten, the sex-trafficked, and the marginalized.  Let us love those who are wrong the way you did, choosing to lay down our lives for the sake of thieves and murderers and bums and outsiders and abusers and users and all of humanity.

God, let us be like you.  Let us be like Jesus.  Let us defend life by laying down our own.

Apologizing for God

I have been convicted recently, and I want to share my struggle.  I can admit that I do think it is a sin issue, although I don't think I would have ever considered it such even a month ago.  However, the reality is that this struggle has hurt my relationship with God, and hurt my testimony to those around me.

I have been feeling the urge to apologize for God.

Sitting in a room with eager learners seeking real answers about the real God of the universe, I have felt tempted to apologize for what we find.

It's not that I am refusing to teach the truth of Scripture--I am much too convinced of the truth and accuracy of Scripture to do that...

...but what I seem to have lost conviction about was the goodness of God.

At the root, its about shame.

Shame, embarrassed to share the hard truths of the Bible.  The truth that the Bible tells the story of a God that is beyond our expectations and understanding.  The truth that this God does things that I can't defend or argue as good.  It has made me squirm to talk about how God has reacted to sin in the past, what he has called sin for all time, and so many more things that I can't begin to describe it.

And at the root is my culture, my generation.  Though better trained to know the truth, I am equally able to drown in the culture around me.  I find it difficult to separate myself, my identity, from the culture that surrounds me. The culture of tolerance and timidness; sarcasm and sexuality; activism and apathy.  This is MY culture, and it has a tremendous impact on my life.

And it broke me.  It led me into the lie that I can decide whether God is good or not, that I am somehow qualified to criticize the character of God.  The God who has created ten thousand suns and beyond, who knit my brain together and allowed it to think and work--I am going to try to criticize this?  I am going to try to apologize for his actions?

____________

A student sat in my office confessing a struggle; a sin.  Looking at me, they sought God's word on this issue.  What does the book say?  What does it reveal?

And I hesitated.

And that is when I noticed the destruction inside me.  That is when I resolved to make a change.  That is when I prayed for forgiveness, apologizing to God for how I had avoided Him instead of apologizing for Him to those around me.

And I felt his goodness around me, surrounding me and wrapping me in his truth and justice and goodness and love.

For part of the great truth of the gospel is that he is never far away, even when we try to make Him so.

And as I continue on this journey of being in love with the actions of God, the teachings of God, and the character of God, I ask--will you pray for me?

Have you ever found yourself apologizing for God?  What caused your hesitancy? I hope to hear from you!

She Claimed Atheism, and I Blamed Myself

I barely know the girl.

She is one of many campers.  One of many who come and go.

And yet when she claimed atheism last week, I found myself praying "Father, forgive me."

She claims the lack of evidence brought her to this, and I agree.

I, and others like me, do a great job of showing the Do's and Don'ts of Christianity, but nothing more.

No evidence for the God of the universe.  No evidence of Spirit induced change.  Not a shred of supernatural conviction, power, or courage that would lead this young soul to awe at something greater than scientific achievement.

Yes, she is the one turning away from God...

Yes, I still have firm conviction...

Yes, she is responsible for her own decisions...


...But I cannot shake the feeling that I played a part.

Helper Does Not Mean Servant

I am not a feminist.

Sorry to disappoint some of you.

I am also not a misogynist, so there ya go.

I grew up in a tradition that taught female subordination to male headship.  Male was created first, female to be his helper.  With this in mind, it was obvious that the Bible called women to be servants to men; specifically wives to their husbands.  This is what I knew.

But is that what Genesis really says?

Does Sexuality Exist?

It is a question that has been brewing in my mind for some time now.  It is a question that, I believe, goes to the heart of many issues facing the church.

Does sexuality exist?  Is sexuality a natural (read: biological, genetic) aspect of human experience?

This question is crucial because it also leads us to ask one other question:  Is sexuality a cultural construction?

You see, sexuality can be only one; it can only be genetic or cultural.  If sexuality is genetic than the nature of that sexuality will raise questions about how we are created, the depths of depravity, etc.  If sexuality is a cultural construction than it poses questions about how we identify ourselves, understand ourselves as humans, and how we have interpreted what it means to be human.

I do not have nearly enough knowledge to give a comprehensive answer to the question today, but today I would like to start a conversation about the nature of sexuality.  I hope you will join me in considering some of this information, and perhaps we can grow through it.

The Bible is...Not A Theological Handbook

Thanks to some great conversations at Rachel Held Evans and Storied Theology, I would like to begin a discussion about the Bible.  These two great minds have been discussing, among different circles and different approaches, what can we expect from the Bible.  I even posted a question a few weeks ago, simply asking to finish the sentence:  the Bible is________.

I received one response:  The Bible is the inerrant word of God.

While this may be a good answer, it is a very ambiguous one.  What does it mean that something is inerrant?  What is the word of God anyway?  How does that work?

It is important for us, especially us Protestants, to have a clear view of the Bible.  If we are to read, understand, and apply the Bible to our life and faith correctly, we must be reading it correctly.

Therefore, I would like to begin a discussion on what the Bible is, and is not.  Today I would like to begin by saying that the Bible is not a theological handbook.

A theological handbook, or a systematic theology, is a book that works through (systematically) topics of interest about God.  It works logically through the nature of God, to the attributes, to the actions, before moving on to discuss other topics such as sin, salvation, humanity, church, etc.  While the practice of systematizing our theology is not inherently bad, we must recognize that this is not what we are given with the Bible.

The Bible does not begin with a detailed description of God--in fact, the God of Genesis is rather mysterious.  He reveals himself partially, slowly, and sometimes secretly.  The name of God is not actually revealed to a human until we get to Moses in Exodus.  A systematic theology would not want to leave so much to the imagination!

Beyond this, the Bible does not systematically answer questions about God's nature or actions.  Why does God act the way he does?  The answer in Job is that He is God, so don't ask those questions.  Is God more loving than he is just, or more just than he is loving?  The Bible never gives us an answer.  The Bible leaves us with stories that reveal God's nature, allowing us to wrestle to get to know Him through the story.

Finally, the Bible leaves many questions unanswered about God.  For example, while clearly expressing the divinity of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the Bible never tries to explain the relationship between the two, or their relation to the Father.  The Trinitarian formula was not developed for 300 years after the writing of Scripture was complete.  The Bible is complete without giving us complete answers; no theological handbook can say the same.

What do you think?  Is there evidence that the Bible is a theological handbook?  Is systematic theology helpful?  Please share your thoughts!

Baptism and the Holy Spirit

"I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

" For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."

 "Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

 "...because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them; they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus."

 "Can anyone keep these people from being baptized with water? They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have."

__________


As I read through the New Testament statements on baptism, particularly the historical events relating to baptism, something stands out to me:

Water baptism is always tied to Spirit baptism and Spirit baptism is always tied to water baptism.

Water baptism is the expected response of faith to the gospel message, and the Spirit is the expected response from God to faith.

What a beautiful truth!

Driscoll's Problem Is Calvin, Not Complementarianism

Mark Driscoll is a perfect storm of controversy.  Great popularity, widely available media, and unpopular opinions have led to him being lambasted by a great deal of internet bloggers.

Especially since Driscoll's most recent book, Real Marriage, hit the shelves Driscoll has faced a great deal of opposition.  Driscoll's view of complementarian marriage is the focal point of the fire.  Marriage, many would say, is meant to be a 100% equal relationship with no leader but Christ.  Pastor Mark's suggestion of male authority--very much in line with much of the traditi  on of Christianity--has been met with an unequaled amount of criticism.

I must pause to ask the simple question:  Why?  Why is Mark Driscoll's view of masculine hierarchy so distasteful to us?  I would suggest that it is not the idea of masculine leadership that angers us, but the type of masculine leadership.

Driscoll's view of marriage is one of absolute, totalitarian male leadership.

And it is not Mark's fault.

It is Calvin's.

John Calvin took the authority and omnipotence of God to mean that God must control every aspect of every detail of his creation.

According to Calvin:

1. Your will is bent and swayed by God to fit his every purpose.
2. You do not make a single daily decision without it being first decided by God.
3. That God, for no purpose that we as humans are privy to, chose to forgive some and reject others.
4. That God's grace, once sent to an individual, is absolutely irresistible.  You could not even begin to fight it.
5. That God, though outwardly despising sin, was actually the author of sin, and created it for his secretive purposes in the world.

Yes, this is the way that Calvin viewed God.  This is what Calvinism suggests.  It suggests that since God has power, he uses it absolutely.  It suggests that since God has authority, he wields is coldly and viciously.

Is it any wonder that a man reading the Bible through this lens would suggest an authoritarian male leadership in the home?  Can we really blame Mark Driscoll for teaching a natural product of his theology.

The truth, however, is that God did not come as a dictator, but a servant.  The image of the invisible God came and became nothing.  The leader who led from the basement instead of the penthouse.  He was the king who chose love over authority.

What might a marriage look like that embraces a better picture of the God of Scripture?  How does our view of God imprint itself on our view of leadership, marriage, parenting, etc?

Anticipation

Dear God,

As I gather with your church, within your sacred walls of flesh community.

I do not see you.

I am too busy.  I have to look for you afterword.  I am too busy doing, thinking, looking, sharing, caring, shaking, smiling, hugging, hand raising, singing, teaching....


And I forget that you are in it all.

The old ones, Paul and Peter and countless others, they anticipated

You.

They looked for you, sought you, worshiped you, praised your grace, waited for you.

And you were there.

And you sent them.

And they saw, they noticed.




...So let it be with me.

Bedtime Stories, Foundations for Eternity

We sat down on mom and dad's bed sometimes.  Other times I would lay my head in mom's lap down on the couch.  Pajamas on keeping my small body cozy in a creaky old farmhouse.

Magical moments followed as my mother would open up a book and transport us to another world.

I was one of the Boxcar Children.


I was a Hardy Boy


I was the young boy who thought of the amazing things I could do if I was to run the zoo.


"Formative" is too academic to describe what happens when parents read to their children.

Spiritual.

Indescribable.

Fulfilling.

And as I prepare to welcome my first God-designed child into this world, I seek stories.  Story time must be a part of my child's life.  Stories that make us laugh, cry, shudder with fear, leap with joy!

Stories that reveal unseen things; things bigger than explanation.

Stories that connect with God's presence.

Stories that fill little (I can't tell you his name yet)'s heart and mind with a foundation that will weather the storms that come later.

And I need your help.

Please share with me your favorite books to read with your kids, your kids favorite books to reread.  Also, share with me stories you'd love to hear told, characters that inspire you, historical events that ground your faith, anything and all!

I want to write stories, and share the best that are already out there.  Thank you for helping prepare me to become the dad I so desire to be.

In Him,

Matt

Church: Home of the Homeless

I am blessed to be a part of a church that cares.  It really does.  Lowell Church of Christ has several missions and local outreach.

However, even when looking at my church, I am left wondering:  Is this all God desires for us?

Today I start discussing the issue of church and poverty, and the first thing we need to ask is simply:  What does God expect of us as Christians and as his Church?  Today I want to make three observations:

1. God desires his church to do more than give.  Luke 4 makes quite clear that we are to proclaim good news to the poor.  Proclamation of good news goes far beyond handing a check out to someone.  It means providing the means to lift someone into a better life (physically, emotionally, and spiritually).

2. God intends the church to be more than a support center.  The New Testament, including Luke 4, provides insight that the church will actually be filled with  the poor.  They will be part of us.  It should be our job to treat with equality those of lesser means, and hopefully bring them to equality.  We must stop looking at the impoverished around the world as "other" and start looking at them as "one of us."

3. God intends the church to be the standard-bearer for worldwide justice.  If you have not done it yet, read Luke 4.  God wants to make the world a place of justice.  He intends to use the Church, the hands and feet of Jesus, to be the leaders of this movement toward equality and hope.


__________



I have heard the many who worry about this so called "social gospel."  Somehow, by focusing our attention on the statements of Christ that challenge us to do, to act, to live with compassion, we challenge the grace alone gospel.  I do not agree.

Grace breeds grace. As we come into contact with the grace of God that forgives sins, it leads us to tangibly display this grace.  Grace begats worship that challenges the "who we are" with the "who we were created to be."  Grace begats love which leads to compassion.

Grace must be followed by more grace.  Grace leads us to care for the poor.

Looking Ahead: Renewing the Mind

Let's be honest:  I am not great at organizing this blog.  I get ideas of weekly themes, and I don't stick to them.  This year, I am trying again, but slightly different.

This year, for me, is all about being transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2).  Therefore, this year I will spend my time reading, writing, and asking questions that are important to this goal.  Every Friday I will give a basic update on "What I'm Learning."  Outside of that, anything could happen.

What types of blog posts should you expect?  Well, here are a list of topics that are areas of my mind I am seeking to renew with God's goodness:

• Scriptural Authority, Inspiration, and Formation:  How did we get the Bible?  Why does the Bible matter?  How should we read the bible?
• Grace and Works:  This has been one of the central battles of my heart and mind for the past 4-5 years theologically.  I also believe it has been a battle in my life for much longer.  I need to seek renewal in this theologically and practically.
• Purity and Exemplified Marriage:  I am on a life-long quest for purity in my life.  This year I attack the mental aspects of that goal.  I also want to explore the question:  How can my marriage be a displayed example for those around me?
• Justice and Poverty:  What does it look like to care for the poor?  What does it mean to love?  What role should I take to make the world a better place?  What issues are most pressing?
• Science and Religion:  What should we expect from the Bible scientifically?
• Faith and Parenting:  What does it mean to walk my child toward God?  How can I create an environment where faith can flourish and last?

On top of these topics, I am hoping to have several guest posts from members of my youth group, friends, family, and fellow bloggers.  I will also be writing down children's stories that I plan to tell my child starting at his birth in February.

It is going to be a good year.  What is your goal?  Do you have a word, a verse, or a sentence that describes your goal?