Apologizing for God

I have been convicted recently, and I want to share my struggle.  I can admit that I do think it is a sin issue, although I don't think I would have ever considered it such even a month ago.  However, the reality is that this struggle has hurt my relationship with God, and hurt my testimony to those around me.

I have been feeling the urge to apologize for God.

Sitting in a room with eager learners seeking real answers about the real God of the universe, I have felt tempted to apologize for what we find.

It's not that I am refusing to teach the truth of Scripture--I am much too convinced of the truth and accuracy of Scripture to do that...

...but what I seem to have lost conviction about was the goodness of God.

At the root, its about shame.

Shame, embarrassed to share the hard truths of the Bible.  The truth that the Bible tells the story of a God that is beyond our expectations and understanding.  The truth that this God does things that I can't defend or argue as good.  It has made me squirm to talk about how God has reacted to sin in the past, what he has called sin for all time, and so many more things that I can't begin to describe it.

And at the root is my culture, my generation.  Though better trained to know the truth, I am equally able to drown in the culture around me.  I find it difficult to separate myself, my identity, from the culture that surrounds me. The culture of tolerance and timidness; sarcasm and sexuality; activism and apathy.  This is MY culture, and it has a tremendous impact on my life.

And it broke me.  It led me into the lie that I can decide whether God is good or not, that I am somehow qualified to criticize the character of God.  The God who has created ten thousand suns and beyond, who knit my brain together and allowed it to think and work--I am going to try to criticize this?  I am going to try to apologize for his actions?

____________

A student sat in my office confessing a struggle; a sin.  Looking at me, they sought God's word on this issue.  What does the book say?  What does it reveal?

And I hesitated.

And that is when I noticed the destruction inside me.  That is when I resolved to make a change.  That is when I prayed for forgiveness, apologizing to God for how I had avoided Him instead of apologizing for Him to those around me.

And I felt his goodness around me, surrounding me and wrapping me in his truth and justice and goodness and love.

For part of the great truth of the gospel is that he is never far away, even when we try to make Him so.

And as I continue on this journey of being in love with the actions of God, the teachings of God, and the character of God, I ask--will you pray for me?

Have you ever found yourself apologizing for God?  What caused your hesitancy? I hope to hear from you!

Changing the Church's Sex Talk

A couple weeks ago I started to share my thoughts about the sex-obsessed nature of the American church.  I had planned on posting more thoughts over the following days, but my life changed dramatically when my first son was born!  Things have been busy and exciting, and I thank you for your patience, but now I want to return to this topic.

Why All The Talk About Sex?

A respected Christian friend posed a great question yesterday.  If you would allow me to paraphrase, he asked:  What is the church's hangup with sex?  Why in the past 100 or so years has the church become increasingly focused on issues of sexual sin, sexual identity, and sexuality in general.

Anyone who spends a great deal of time in the modern Evangelical movement will know that my friend is not wrong in his assessment of our teaching.  Christians, particularly Protestant Christians, seem to be obsessed with talking about sex.  We have books for by the hundreds for keeping our youth remain sexually pure, books for sexual addiction, books for what is permissible sexual activity within a marriage, books that prepare engaged couples for marital sexuality, books on sexuality and politics...I am exhausted just sharing the categories!

So the question today is simple:  Why is the church so focused on sexuality?  This should lead naturally to other questions (is this focus bad?  How can we better address this issue?  What other issues are we ignoring?), but for today we will leave those questions unanswered.

I would like to suggest three reasons the Protestant church finds itself so focused on sex in its teaching:

1. We are still recovering from the Reformation.  You know, when Martin Luther looked the Pope in the eyes and said "Let my people go!"  OK, so that may be a little bit dramatic, but the Reformation changed things.  In responding to the forced celibacy of the Roman Catholic, the Reformation made celibacy out to be a bad thing altogether!  We have made marriage a necessary part of life and spirituality (just ask any single 20 something in your local church), and in so doing have placed a great importance on sexual relationships.  This shift also led to the view that sex is about more than just procreation. This shift from celibacy naturally led to many questions:  what is allowed sexually?  When is it sex?  What is permissible for me?


2. Sexuality is one area where we are genuinely "at odds" with our culture.  It's easy to ignore the areas of sin and philosophy where we agree with our neighboring non-Christians.  Yes, Jesus does say a lot about poverty, judgmental attitudes, and religious hypocrisy, but I agree with my non-Christian friends on many of these issues.  We must be right, so why talk about them?  In reality, this is what I would call our ability to "shift" emphasis in Scripture to what we consider gross sin.  If we look honestly at ourselves, most of us have sin that is tolerable, but others that are gross, unacceptable among God's people.  Sexual sin has become the gross, while sins of gluttony, power, and status are acceptable.

3. Whether intentional or not, we practice a system of "occasional theology."  Personally, I am a big proponent of occasional theology as an alternative to systematic theology.  Most however, practice this without even thinking about it.  What is occasional theology?  Occasional Theology is the practice of addressing theological issues based upon the situation (or occasion) confronting the local congregation.  I would argue that Paul's letter's are great examples of occasional theology.  Bringing this back to the issue, you will  notice that sexuality is flaunted and discussed now more than ever in our culture.  Pornography is bigger business than Hollywood.  Sexual agendas are being tackled by our politicians, trumpeted by our celebrities, and promoted by our athletes.  The church is simply addressing the pressing issues of our day.

This still leaves the question of whether our focus on sex is good or bad, and perhaps we can discuss that tomorrow.

Perhaps there is something that I've missed.  What other factors are contributing to our focus on sex?  Why do church's feel the need to spend so much time and money addressing issues of sexuality?

I hope to hear from you!

Green Eggs, Early Mornings

I knew it was time to get up when I heard the bacon sizzle as it hit the pan.

Shaking of the dusty dreams of the night, I emerged from my bedroom into the kitchen where my mother was already in full force.

5 A.M.

The kitchen smells of bacon, but that is only the beginning of my mom's breakfast concoction. The eggs, mounds of them, were already filling one side of a roaster, the other side filling with bacon. In a second roaster my mom was cutting up cheese and mixing it in to a giant batch of hash brown potatoes.

This was my Tuesday mornings growing up. The early mornings, the smell of breakfast. Standing and mixing the scrambled eggs so they don't turn green, and always mom.

Mom is an interesting lady.

She is a worrier, the type of lady that always thought its better to say something twice, or twenty times to make sure the message sticks. She is a teacher at heart--that wanting to make sure her children (and others) knew the values of life. She was, in a nutshell, always teaching.

We used to call that nagging.

Tuesday morning was a day for the two of us, mom and I. The rest of the family stayed sleeping while she fried bacon and I stirred the eggs--because who wants to eat green eggs?

Sometimes I never ate a single slice of that bacon.

The breakfast wasn't for us, it was for a group of community leaders. This waking early once a week was one of the several odd jobs my mom took to help keep the family financed. She baked cakes, she substitute taught, and many other things. My favorite was Tuesday mornings.

For all of my mom's teaching and nagging and all of those other things--nothing taught me more than stirring eggs so they don't turn green. I learned what it meant to serve, to work hard, to provide. I also learned how to teach, allowing others to join me in the kitchen, stir the eggs, and see the value of a job well done.



And to this day nothing reminds me of home more than the sound of sizzling bacon.

Feeding More Than Fish

Vacation for the popular preacher just wasn't going to happen. Here he was, escaping the crowds, only to have the crowds find him at his destination. The people were worn and disheveled.

They had quite literally run from their towns to the little beachfront, hoping for a chance to see him, hear him.

He was exhausted. He hadn't rested, not before the boat ride, and not during the boat ride.

Jesus wasn't afforded many breaks.

The crowds were there, looking at their Messiah, though nobody was really sure what that meant. They knew though, there was something different about him.

So they ran, straight to him, no thought of themselves. They packed no spare clothing, no food, no necessities of any kind. He was their necessity.

"He felt compassion for them." This little phrase does not lead us into the feeding of the 5000, at least not immediately. Jesus, it seems, had compassion that went a little beyond ours. Yes, he cared for the physical needs, and he would certainly meet them soon.

A more important matter was at hand..."he felt compassion for them because they were like sheep without a shepherd."

They had nobody to show them the better way of life. All their life they walked without the necessities, the love, faith, and knowledge of God. All their life they wondered aimlessly because they had no hope, no foundation for why they were alive.

And so he taught them, and fed them, but taught them all the more. He taught them the truth, His truth, God's plan for the world, God's true plan of redemption, and how they were to live as part of it. He taught them to rely on God, and then showed them their reliance as he fed them the miracle bread.

Let us have compassion that meets reaches all the persons needs, not only the most obvious.


This is my first look at a passage in Mark. I will continue to share thoughts on Mark as I study and see the odd and beautiful ways in which Jesus acts. Perhaps we can learn together how we might work and live and be in his kingdom.