One of my attempted habits is to read from the Psalms daily. I do not succeed with this goal, but I do work rather hard at reading them regularly.
I find them crucial to my life in Christ. These psalms--the praise and prayers of ancient Israel--provide for me several key reminders about how I God intersects my life, fills my life, and sustains my life.
So I woke up this morning in a mood. You know those days that the entire world, the entirety of reality comes bearing in on your shoulders? Everything feels up to you. Every decision must be made, every action completed. This feeling was magnified in my soul.
How am I ever going to get this house clean?
How will I ever live a healthy lifestyle?
I will never be prepared to be a dad.
I am not enough to lead these youth in their spiritual journey.
I am not enough.
I think that when we boil it down, that is the reality that was bearing down upon me. I am not enough. I am small, weak, and, frankly, tired. I cannot sustain myself, my family, or my career.
The word "failure" seems appropriate.
This feeling is still here tonight as I type this. However, I spent the day listening to quality worship music, and reading some Psalms. I am amazed by this book. Song after song, prayer after prayer, all with the same basic message.
I am not enough, but HE is.
And so tonight I pray: God please be my strength, because I don't have anymore.