Anticipation

Dear God,

As I gather with your church, within your sacred walls of flesh community.

I do not see you.

I am too busy.  I have to look for you afterword.  I am too busy doing, thinking, looking, sharing, caring, shaking, smiling, hugging, hand raising, singing, teaching....


And I forget that you are in it all.

The old ones, Paul and Peter and countless others, they anticipated

You.

They looked for you, sought you, worshiped you, praised your grace, waited for you.

And you were there.

And you sent them.

And they saw, they noticed.




...So let it be with me.

Give Me Jesus--Jeremy Camp

Hope is Rising--Downhere

This is one of the most powerful songs I have listened to lately.  Enjoy.

Amazing Grace--The Blind Boys of Alabama

Song 1: We are the Free (Matt Redman)

This song really shouts out "New Year" in my mind, so this is my first daily song.  A few lines I really like:

"Nothing can stop us, we'll be running through the night, and our passion will not die"

"There's a fire in our hearts and it burns for you, it's never gonna fade away."

I am telling you, check this one out!

Sunday Thanks: Arms Wide Open

I don't know if it was fear or professionalism that nearly killed me.

It doesn't matter.

For three years and some I have attended this church I love, worked with their youth, and served alongside some of the most wonderful people I could imagine. God has moved in this place, and in me. He has moved me through the youth--their events, but more so their heart and spirit. The service I have joined in has changed me dramatically. My views of poverty, need, love, work, humanity (and many other things) have been altered as I've invested in God's service through this community of faith.

I held myself back. Even with all the greatness of God flowing around this church, I held back in one area. It is an area of passion, an area that fills fire in my bones and can come over me like a the rushing of a waterfall drenching my self with God.

I had become a silent worshipper. Oh, I sang--many in the church do. My body was silent.

You see, from the time I was little, I couldn't sit still. I have always used my whole self to express my heart--voice, arms, body, legs, emotions, tears. Everything. But here, no. I had become stone still.

Fear, conformity, or professionalism--I don't have a clue.

But something in my spirit broke down the chains the past couple weeks. As the music rose, so did I to God in worship--not just a voice, but me. Expressing to Him my joy in my own ackward, uncomfortable, whole self way.

Standing tall, shouting out, tears streaming, and arms wide open.

Other Thanks for this week:

1. The raw reality of life bringing deep questions: One in the life of a youth at LCOC, the other from a great blog post.
2. Finding common ground.
3. Realizing the implication of the resurrection of Jesus.
4. Counting how long I can stay underwater (just like when I was six!)
5. Pool parties with pizza
6. Singing the wrong words to Disney songs
7. The power of God to create a living Word for us.

Humbled by Faces

They slowed it down.

I can't believe they slowed it down.

There was such a good crowd, such a great crowd to worship. These people can't possibly enjoy this rendition of this song. I mean, it isn't right! It's the wrong speed! I love this song and they are not doing it right!

I just don't know why we can't do this song right, I mean, it is a simple song. It is a beautiful song, but it can't be sung this slow and soft, it needs to be passionate!

I am just so fed up with this.

_________

The classes are typically separate. I bring my class into the larger room where the other class meets. I am apprehensive because this is a new idea, a new step in unity. Even so, my fear remains:

Youth make adults nervous. Adults make youth nervous.

And yet we sat, Sunday School hour looked different as we served pancakes and ate a meal together. We laughed at movies, milk chugging, and Big John's Texas drawl. The youth and adults joined together, slightly awkward but together nonetheless.

Together

_______

Presence is important. My wife and I look for a seat in the church auditorium. We are always some of the last to sit around, and so we seek a spot. We note a young man who has been coming alone. He is not like us, any of us really. We are a church of primarily white people, he is Spanish. He is one of the dozen or so "other" in our church, yet we are more the same than at first glance. He is just like our other youth--shy at first, but full of life. He came to youth group one night and our sponsor "grandparents" started picking him up every time they were on their way to the church.

He sat alone this day, still not very comfortable with the big worship setting. And so we joined him.

He is one of us, and we are one of him. We are one.

Together

_______

The song set me off. So quick to anger. I turned my focus from the screen and looked around. Singing was rising from the people--from my people. The people I committed to living with, worshiping with, serving with...together.

Together.

I see the kid who hugged me and helped me as I cried, sharing the secret of my families miscarriage. I looked at the new family who started coming just a few weeks ago and has joined in greatly. I looked at the family who is always late, who has a son who can't stay awake and yet they are all here, Sunday after Sunday striving to worship; raising their kids to know God and the church--not just one or the other. I look at the Senior Minister, worshiping with this community for more than twenty years. Together.

We were all singing together. Lifting up praise to the one who holds us together, praising the God who binds all, who created all, who loves all.

_______

The music is beautiful.

The words majestic, my song, the rest of the songs. Slow, fast, modern and old school. Southern Gospel and modern praise tune. We praised. My heart changed, not the music, as humility overtook my critical eye. I saw something that washed the critic away...

...Togetherness.


Note: Lowell Church of Christ--I love you! You are a people that is much like me--seeking honestly after God. I thank you for letting me worship and minister with you, as one of you, even in the moments of bad attitude, mistakes, and immaturity. You all are a true blessing.

Drowning and Worship: Theological Thursday!

I've almost drowned a couple times. Growing up my brothers and I loved to swim. My older brother was great, I was solid, my little brother was less than solid. When we all got together in a pool, all Hades always broke out.

What would start as innocent pushing and dunking inevitably led to water wrestling, holding each other under, and (without realizing it) nearly killing each other repeatedly.

I remember being under a chocker hold of my brother, head under the water, and realizing that I can't escape. I panicked. My arms flailed, my legs failed me, I was flopping in water like a fish out of water. The arms became heavy, tired fighting for the last bit of oxygen in my body. My eyes lost their vision, slowly turning black. My body would not last much longer, there was no more air in my lungs...

...and then my head came up out of the water. And I gasped the great joyous air around me. And I felt life spring into my body like knives, slicing my lungs, my heart, my muscle. Tissue hurt with joy. My eyes ached with the blinding light, my head throbbed with life giving oxygen!

And that is how worship should be. Worship is our bodies, our lives, response to the life giving breath of the Spirit of God in our lives. We were drowning in our sin. Our life ebbed away, and our fight slowly faded. Yet then God's Spirit breathes life into us, and it is shocking, painful, and joyous!

True worship is shocking! True worship causes pain and joy. True worship is desperate breathing in of God, accepting fully his life.

Let us worship desperately!