Thursday, December 15, 2011

On Marriage

Reflecting on the four years passed since oaths were sworn before God and men, on ups and downs and joys and tears, I find myself sitting back in awe.

I thought I could write a post giving marriage advice.

Yet as I think, I have no real advice to give, no knowledge of some special power to make your marriage better.  Instead, allow me to make some reminiscent observations.

I thought marriage would be a constant ride of highs and lows, and in general it is not.  Marriage is primarily about the mundane, the ordinary, the daily.  Marriage is making a shopping list, managing finances, and making the bed.  As we are married, we focus on the big, the life-altering events, only to discover that the moments that make up most of marriage are much more...common.

These common moments are holy.  If I am to be honest, I cannot remember at all how I have celebrated anniversaries past, but I can remember the day I was sick.  Very sick, by my standards anyway.  In bed for the day, Ky put in one of my favorite movies (Lord of the Rings:  The Return of the King if you were curious) and went into the next room.  I do not know if it was the medicine, the sickness, or just the moment, but I started crying like a baby during this movie I had watched a good 50 times before; Kylie caught me.  The laughter of this day, laughter that made me cough so hard I could barely pull air into my sickly lungs, is a building block of my marriage.  That day strengthened my marriage.

I also have discovered that marriage is born more out of our burdens than our triumphs.  The aches of our hearts cause us to lean toward each other.  Our triumphs make us think we can stand alone.

I do not know much about marriage.  All I know is that it is a wild ride, and it is a ride that I continue to take till death do us part.

I wonder, what is the most significant moment in your marriage?  Was it one of those "big" moments?  Or was it holy in the midst of the mundane?

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